


Affection Adiction

by Marble_Ocean



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman: The Animated Series, DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/F, TW: Emetophobia, TW: Violence, southern belle ivy, tw: abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:17:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8403124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marble_Ocean/pseuds/Marble_Ocean
Summary: On one of their usual heists, Joker and Harley tangle with a certain southern belle and all her plant fury. Captivated, Harley begins to tail her and the two meet face to face rather than face to fist.
Lovingly criminal hijinks ensue.





	

**Author's Note:**

> TW for abuse and emetophobia.
> 
> Gonna be doing a multichapter thing for once, can you believe I actually planned this one. Anyway this chapter one is as chapter-oney as you can get. Since this is primarily going to be Harley’s point of view, I figured I’d best get her all set up before I bring in Ivy. Enjoy xx

Harley's hammer came down full swing on the glass, breaking it with a satisfying shatter, followed shortly by that now familiar alarm. 

"Gee, you'd think they'd change the tone a little?" Harley yelled over the noise.

Joker wasn't paying attention to her as he greedily swiped up the loot instead, apparently not caring much for the shard of glass. This was the third jewellery store they hit today and Harley was getting just a bit bored.

She swung her hammer over her shoulder and admired her man, his manic grin stretching his features. 

"Oh Mistah J, yer so dreamy." She sighed, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.

Joker's mania melted away for half a second, enough to give her a bemused look as she planted her affections on him delicately. She wondered, if his skin weren't so white, how he would blush.

"Of course I am, pumpkin pie." He said, picking up a watch to examine it closely. "Now go keep a look out, don't want ol' pointy ears crashing the party now do we?"

Harley stood up straight and gave a little salute.

"Yes, boss!" She said with a happy skip in her heart.

He's trusting her to keep a look out!

She hopped over a security guard who was looking a little worse for wear with a three inch hole in his head. Poor guy, she thought as she glanced at his eyes crossing up in horror at the wound. He shouldn't have pulled a gun on her puddin' though!

She stood idly at the entrance they had busted open, waving at the onlookers who were either calling the cops or smartly running away. No sign of the B-Man, he really must be afraid of sunlight.

No wonder he's always frowning. A lack of sunlight can really do a number on yer happy hormones.

She pondered idly, waiting for Joker to finish up pouring the goods into that sack of his. 

"Haha! It's like you're reverse Santa, puddin'! I mean sure, you're missing the hat and the outfit but maybe I can ask Scarey to sow somethin' up for ya!"

"Harley, what on earth are you talking about?" 

"Well, he makes his own outfits don't he? I know he helped Eddie..." She trailed off as he continued to look unimpressed with her ramblings.

She shrunk a little under his stare but then his grin returned as he pat her on the back roughly.

"You know that I can't change my image," he said, gesturing to his iconic purple and green attire. "That would be like Batman showing up in a rainbow Batsuit! Harley, so stupid sometimes honestly!"

Harley smiled meekly, knocking her own head with her knuckle.

"Yeah, silly me, my bad Mistah J."

"Hey! Stop right there!" Someone shouted their way.

A young man stood before them, legs shaking but gaze furious.

"This shop was my grandfathers!"

"So what?" Joker sneered. "We're not stealing the whole building, just what's in it. You can keep the old place, looks like one more gun shot would bring it down anyway."

The argument that the store had some heritage seemed to be all that the young man had as he visibly choked on his words. Harley cocked her gun.

"Move, buster." She said, gesturing for him to move to the left.

She'd shoot him if she had to, she just wanted to get out of here. Thankfully, he moved with his shaking legs, shuffling to the side and out of the way.

She was a little quieter on the way back to the hideout, raising her voice only to yell obscenities at the cops as she withdrew her grenade launcher from under the seat and fired once. The sirens were just as annoying as the alarms and she listened as the grenade went off with a catastrophic boom and the siren wavered and wavered until it died out pathetically.

"Good show, Harley!" Joker praised and she felt her spirits lighten up.

"Aw, it was nothin' puddin'." She stroked her cowl as if she were tucking a strand of hair behind her ears.

No cops followed them, as usual. GCPD sure were clueless, not to mention useless.

The doors creaked open to their dingy hide away. It really was =n't the most clean and tidy place but hey, home is where your heart is.

"Go on, announce me in." Joker cooed into her ear.

And her heart was with her Joker.

Their goons gave a little cheer when she walked in the room, Harley having a prideful strut.

"Outta the way fellas, Mistah J's comin' through."

The excitable cluster cheered louder as Joker paraded through, swinging his sack around, hitting one of the poor henchman in the head and he slumped to the floor unconscious. 

"Boys, one more job and we're ready to go!"

He dropped the sack letting it spill open a Lot of watches. 

"Operation: Time You Got a Bomb is nearly complete!"

Harley sighed, watching him get all worked up with excitement, his laughter shrill.

His plan was, steal a bunch of watches, resell the watches and viola, cash. Except that the watches are all full of micro-bombs and all destined to go off at the same time. A lot of people will be one hand less in Gotham.

She then noticed a drop of red tainting the cuff of his sleeve.

"Puddin' ya got a little somethin'." She took his arm gently and rolled up his sleeve. He had a small cut on his hand, must have been from shoving it through glass to get the watches.

"Oh no!" She put her hands to her mouth in alarm and wiped some of the blood off clumsily.

Joker glanced from her to his goons who were looking at their icon being mollycoddled.

"Harley..." He warned steadily.

"Ya got hurt and it ruined yer nice suit! Don't worry, I'll go get some first aid!"

"It's fine, Harley."

"It's not fine, you were reckless and-!"

His hand slapped across her face savagely and she fell to the ground with a yelp. 

"I'm not reckless!" He seethed at her. "I told you it was fine and you just didn't listen."

Harley looked up at him, her cheek stinging fiercely as she cowered. He placed his foot on her stomach and put his weight on her.

"M-mistah J--! You're hurtin' me!"

He pushed his weight down once, twice and then kicked her in the side, knocking the wind out of her.

"Not nearly as much as I should be," he murmured. "You're lucky I love you."

Tears began to fill up her eyes but she held them as best she could. 

"Ya do?" She managed a smile.

"Of course!" Joker grinned. "Now do me a favour and get counting those watches."

Harley struggled to get up but soon found her energy. 

He loves me! He loves me!

"You got it boss!" Her voice was weak, a little shakey.

Picking up the sack from the floor, she dragged it behind her into her own personal room. She hummed happily to herself, emptying the cargo onto her bed when, without warning, her stomach started doing backflips.

She never made it to the door before she threw up in the middle of the room. Coughing and hacking, she reached out desperately for some leverage to get herself up. 

"What's wrong with ya?" She said aloud, as she often did speak to herself. "Not like it's the first time he put a doozey on ya. It's the tenth."

She wanted to think it was because of the pressure on her stomach but deep deep down, she knew it was the trauma. It left her mind as soon as he said those three words but settled within her tummy like a bad case of food poisoning.

She wiped sick from her face, her nose crinkling at the smell. Gross. 

It sure would be nice if Mistah J helped her out but it was her own fault, she doesn't deserve any help. 

She wobbled over to the bathroom and grabbed the disinfectant she kept under the sink in case of an emergency. You never know when you need to poison someone who wants to start a ruckus. 

Cleaning was a chore, but it gave her some times to slow down and think as she scrubbed and scrubbed.

"Next time, listen to your man, Harleen... Harley, ya silly gal." She mused, finishing up.

She returned to the bathroom and washed her hands. Without really thinking, she licked the tip of her finger and immediately regretted it as the taste of soap assaulted her.

"Yuck!" She spat.

She really was good at holding back tears, she realized looking back at herself in the mirror. Not even a smudge in her mascara. She stared for a while and decided it was best to start practising her smile. Especially after tonight, she might have to explain what took her so long to count.

This one? No, showing too much teeth.

How about this one? Nope, eyes too wide.

And this one? Well I can't tell with my eyes closed like this.

Of course even if she found the perfect grin, the sick around her lips would ruin it.

She butt the mirror gently with her forehead, feeling woozy.

"Silly, silly gal."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like for now, I'll get up the next chapter as soon as, love you~ x


End file.
